Jamais Vu

It seems like everything is falling into and out of place. Like small circles through proportioned squares. Listening to my ANTHRO professor talk is like hearing an aged relative blabber on about some shitty war story. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm actually ADD or I just really loathe school. I need rest, I need the company of my friends, I need to catch up on reading, I need more time for my music, and I need more time to work out. All of the above, including spicy foods might I add, aid in the release of endorphins to my brain, THUS, a positive August. Let's be real here too, it's going to be a lonely and musically productive fall.

fuck

Like the Ocean Floor, I'm Thinking

I just got home from the pianos/caution children tour. To say the least, it was a breath of fresh air and just the right amount of self-reflection I needed, yet I feel even more indifferent than I did before I left. Once you have a taste of the world outside of your routines and social boundaries, you long for more, but begin to appreciate "home" for what it is and not for what it lacks. 

I don't need to repeat anything that was said, name-drop anyone I met, or mention any place that I saw. It's all where it needs to be, and everything both positive and negative made yet another experience memorable enough in itself. The Caution Children, however, are wonderful individuals and musicians and I wish we had spent more time with them. Their music will fit perfectly into my little book of nostalgia in a pretty big chapter of my life.

Sidenotes:

New contacts won't fit right.

1 year of school left = anxiousness, depression, excitement

Haven't worked out in 2 weeks, big no-no.

I'm in love with every little part of nothing.

Reset

When I look at past posts, I'm embarrassed of myself. When I think of how I feel, and how I act, and things that I like, I don't want to like or embody those things anymore. Always foreword, never back. I care too much about my appearance.

Waves Waves Waves

Philadelphia has the right vibe goin' on. Definitely probably maybe moving in year. Summer classes are so fucking annoying. I hate this thing now.

Let Live the Skeletons

Real irritated. 

I know it is of typical post teenager "twenties" syndrome, but seriously, when can I take control of responsibility and enjoy myself?

Eat. Sleep. Work. Repeat.

At the Base of the Giant's Throat

I can't really catch a break. This has been the roughest year I've ever experienced, but somehow I'm managing to stay level-headed. I've put over $2000 into repairs for my car in the past 5 months or so just to have some fuckhole slam into last night and of course drive off. I didn't know about it until my neighbor told my parents this morning. It turned out to be less damage/cost then I'd anticipated and my loving Aunt offered to pay for the damage. I am so very thankful for my family and close friends. Thank you for keeping me sane. Oh, and you too music. Fuck, I hope I pass my exams this week.

Lights in the Sky

I've never met anyone else with such an irregular sleep pattern as I.
Somehow managing to stay up all night always puts me in the best morning mood. It's probably because I'm awake to enjoy it, and there also lies no fear of waking up late for work, which has been all too frequent lately.

Speaking of sleep, I had a highly involved car accident in a dream the other night. Apparently it represents how much distress I've been in because of a certain forced path I'm on. Go figure.

Speaking of dreams, I know for the most part they're involuntary, but I need to learn how to shake certain ones. Certain parts of my life are gone and are no importance to me any longer. I need not be reminded all the time when I'm fucking supposed to be at a state of peace.

Last night's weather was beautiful. Fuck.