3.31.2008

At the Age of Decay

I forget why I even started this thing.
Things are weird.

3.19.2008

Kings Upon the Main

This has been a well-needed little break, and I'm enjoying catching up on sleep and re-accompanying my friends. There is a good amount of work I should be doing, but fuck it, I deserve a break. I'm in dire need to express myself musically, so I'm working on getting my Reason to work again, but it's not looking good. I think I'm going to invest some money in a mic or two and start incorporating vocals for something similar, but separate from what I'm already doing. We'll see. 


I'm just going to put this out there...

I'm nowhere near a perfect individual, but if everyone followed a good amount of pointers in which I live my life by, maybe the world would be full of rainbows, lollipops, and beautiful unicorns.

I'd like to hear what you have to say about this:



Life is so interesting, especially with all of the people we encounter. You never realize that no matter how much you think people are alike, we are so different, and that's what makes things go 'round, whether it be good or bad. Family, friends, and health are the most important factors, and you can't forget personal satisfaction either.

Nothing affects me, that isn't permanent. People, places, misfortunes, feelings, all come and go. I love the people and situations in my life dearly, but I'm designed to adapt accordingly and un-accordingly to them and the things that surround us. I leave enough of myself, so that if I need to let go, I can survive.

Everything is a joke to me. I have very sarcastic sense of humor, but I am always mature at the times appropriate. There's no reason to be Mr. or Mrs. Stern all god-damned day. Chill the fuck out and stop taking life so seriously. Sure I can understand when things aren't going your way, or you're just having "one of those days" but there's no reason to lose your shit 'cause someone made your latte wrong, or 'cause you can't do math correctly during some sort of purchase, etc. etc.

I have a terribly crude and nasty sense of humor, I don't hold back, and neither should you. Unless anything is ever purposely directed your way and intended to "hurt" you, relax or just laugh it out. I know not everyone has the same sense of humor, but there is NEVER any need to get all bent out of shape because someone has offended you in a non-intentional or serious manner.

I'm human, and you are too, and we tend to make quick assumptions. Sometimes it's necessary to be blunt, most of the time it is not, because there are no clones, and we are not going to agree with anyone 100% about anything they do, think, or say. Use your brain. With that in mind, talking down to a stranger, or anyone for that matter, is completely inappropriate, especially when it's just for kicks. I judge people all fucking day, but that doesn't mean they're some shithole of a person, nor would I laugh in their face about it under any circumstances. Sometimes I prefer the assumptions first that way if I do get to know someone, I'm completely proven wrong, and that's considered good news to me. Have a little respect, and hopefully you'll get the same in return.

I wouldn't consider myself selfish, or selfless. They are silly concepts, that just happen to be abused. I can't make everyone happy, but there's no reason not to try for the people that deserve it. Congruently, my own personal satisfaction is just as important. I sometimes lose a little bit of myself when I'm busy pleasing others, I just do my best to make time for me later on. There's no reason we can't balance happiness, responsibilities, and priorities. Sure, sometimes I find it hard, but things seem to come full circle, and if they don't, maybe you're not trying hard enough.

Pick your battles, and weigh out the situation. I could be doing better things with my time than listen to you whine about how he or she doesn't get along with so and so and it's become so much of your problem now that you lose sleep over it. Seriously, get the fuck along, or at least be civil about it. Unless they physically hurt or seriously emotionally scarred you or someone you know, there's no reason you can't be cordial with them, ESPECIALLY if the problem didn't affect you, and if it did, wasn't direct. I'd expect this from 17 year olds or younger, but not anyone else. Also, fuck the whole "love your enemies bullshit". If you have any enemies, in which it's for some serious reason, then don't waste love and effort on someone that means shit to you. Save it for those that matter.

We are a cultured society, and everyone has their own beliefs and values. Most of them contain the most basic "rights and wrongs" we're supposed to live by. I completely support you and your views on religion, but PLEASE for CHRIST'S SAKE (every pun intended) stop crediting your "God" or religion for downright acts of kindness, or your decision to make the right choices. Of all the things I disagree with, that deal with religion (because no, I don't believe in anything) being kind, going out of your way for people, and making the right choices are my biggest issues. These natural things just exemplify what happens when you use your fucking brain, and tends to show part of what a genuine human being you are or could be. Mr. Jesus didn't teach you how to live, your loving mother and father did.


As most of you know, I am straight edge. This is nothing that will ever change. I don't care what you've heard, or how strongly you feel about the straight edge music scene, that's not me. It's what got me into it about 9 years ago, but it no longer sits prominently in my decision to maintain the "edge status". So, to all you drug and alcohol abusers out there; where do I even begin? I'm not going to go into great detail, because I really could care less about what you do with your time and to your body. It's when it begins to affect the people around you, and that's what bothers me. In the worst cases, people have lost their lives, and that alone should be taken into consideration and maybe you can convince someone to be more responsible in the near future. Stepping down from such a great effect, most of you are inconsiderably annoying when intoxicated. There's nothing that bothers me more, than an over-talkative, over-lovable, violent, "I'm drinking my problems away", cocky drunk. I'm not even going to sugarcoat it, I want stab you in the throat. If you're of age, responsible, and none of the aforementioned, than by all means, do what you want, until than, I'll do my best to avoid you. And as for "drugs", you're pathetic and I ABSOLUTELY hold myself higher than you, friend or not, no questions asked. We can't forget good ol' cigarettes either. Sure, they're not really life threatening to anyone but yourself so smoke away, but in case you had no idea, you smell, they're gross, and you'll probably die of lung cancer.


This was one long ass rant, from one real ass dude.
If you read all of it, thank you, I'm sorry if it wasted 15 minutes of your life.

Seriously though, I try to love everything and everyone, and no not everything is for me, but there's no reason we all can't keep our heads up and live a great life together.

What's the moral of this time-wasting essay?
Don't be a dick or something super rad like that.



Any issues or complaints? I'd like to hear about it, otherwise, delete me suckas.

August

3.11.2008

The Solar Sea

Sometimes we lose touch with ourselves.
I never have time to myself anymore.
I'm a little bit annoyed with things lately.
Ciao.

3.06.2008

The Persistence of Loss

Well why not? I'm already surrounded by a slew unfortunate events anyway.

Uncle Harry passed away this morning from a massive heart-attack.
I feel extremely guilty, because I can't seem to get upset at anything anymore. Granted he was probably the uncle I knew the least about, but I still saw him just as much as anyone else, and I should be upset to some extent right? Maybe I'm just a little in denial of the whole situation, and maybe the subtle gloominess and shock I experienced earlier in class was out of worry and sympathy for my Aunt Rosie. This is the closest death I've experienced since my grandfather when I was younger; I suppose everyone has their own way of handling things.

In addition to that guilt, I feel like this "post" just ends up about me anyway.

I have a tendency to stack up my emotions internally, and you would think I'd explode one day. This really hasn't ever been the case, yet at least. I'm a pretty strong-willed dude, and I think a lot of it has to do with mind over heart, for appropriate matters.

Note to self: 
The more you avoid your feelings, the more you will become numb, thus, the less you will feel the things that matter, and eventually nothing  at all.


Adrift and At Peace

3.05.2008

I'm Old Gregggggg

This morning was horrible. Every part of me hurt, from my toes up to me eyelids. I didn't get to bed until 7 because of it. I did myself a favor and called out of work. I still feel like the living dead, and I can barely focus on this redundant 20th century art bullshit that I'm being tested on tomorrow. One art history class is enough, kthx. 

In even worse matters:
Leopard took a shit on me again last night, when I was trying to update to version 10.5.2.
Called applecare dude, who was real gnarly, and possibly stoned.
Turns out I had to do an "Erase and Install".
I had to copy everything onto my brother's computer and onto my external hardrive from there.
I just wiped everything clean and reinstalled Leopard, and I'm waiting on all of the updates to put my computer back on there, which will probably be another 2 hours or so. real sick...

This was just what I needed when the majority of my current schoolwork and art-related projects involve using this computer. With the addition of me being a piece of shit lazy ass, Pianos are still waiting on their artwork. I really hope I can function tomorrow night, it'd be perfect for getting some work done.

Thursday I'm getting more work done on my arm. so sick. almost done. extremely broke now.


"You wanna go to a club were people wee on each other?
I've got a mangina, I'm Ollllldd Greeeeggggggggggg!"

3.04.2008

Kaba Modern

I'm just going to put this out there:


Asians take everything we do and do it ten times better.
In no way is this racial stereotyping of any sort, it's just one giant compliment.
These assholes really can dance:









3.03.2008

Germ

I'm weak, and getting sick.
The weather was really nice today.
I'm behind on a lot of things.
Indifferent and temperamental.

Why am I selectively watching Night at the Museum?

3.01.2008

Ringfinger

hello.


I'm re-inviting myself back into the world of documenting daily/weekly experiences and thoughts that most of you will find of no use and interest. Which is exactly why you're reading this right now.

For now, I'm placing these thoughts on hold, until I get things under control. It's been a weird day. I'm a little all over the place and should I get any rest again this morning, it'll be just short of two hours. 

Often I feel much like a machine; strayed from its particular function, not a complete waste.